Arguably the most talked about movie to come out so far in 2009 opened in theatres on March 6th – the graphic novel/comic book-turned-movie Watchmen. Directed by Zack Snyder of 300 fame, the movie has received a plethora of “fanboy” rage due to the writer of the comic, Alan Moore, refusing to have any association with the movie.  His decision was based on poor representations of his novels in the past – V For Vendetta for example – and his overall distaste for Hollywood.

Then there was the battle between Fox and Warner Brothers for the rights to the film, the news that the ending of the original story had been changed (if you have read the book you will understand) and that the film had to be cut from an original three and a half hour film into a two and a half hour playtime.

And now, it has been released in theatres (and at the time of writing this I have already learned that it topped the box office this past weekend).  In an attempt not to be completely biased towards another adaptation of a comic, I will try and analyze this movie from a cinematic standpoint.  These were my conclusions…

Watchmen isn’t good.  

Right off the bat, Zack Snyder’s signature is all over the screen – a violent and bloody fight scene (with 300-esque slowmotion implemented as well) and, quite honestly, as a result the movie gets off to a strong start.  Throughout the film you’ll also notice the attention to visual detail. Effects are utilized brilliantly, and things that would be unimaginable are brought to life very well.

And that’s just about where the positives end.

From then on you’re treated to poor acting performances across the board (other than Jackie Earle Haley as Rorschach), unnecessarily graphic violence (this coming from a huge fan of Quentin Tarantino) and uninspired and embarrassing emotional scenes (seriously, the sex scene is just plain strange).  Lastly, Watchmen is guilty of having the worst soundtrack you will ever hear.  Don’t get me wrong, the songs themselves are good, but they just don’t work in this movie.  Once in awhile it works to have an upbeat song playing during a fight scene, but not every time.  I understand what was trying to be accomplished by playing songs reflective of the times, but it was poorly thought out and laughable in most spots.

Although I have gone through the positives and negatives already, I haven’t talked about the best part of the movie:

Malin Akerman.  I advise paying the money to see the movie just for her.  (psst guys, you get to see her boobs and bum!)

Back to being semi-professional…

It is hard for me to go into too much more detail without spoiling the movie.  Watchmen certainly isn’t the worst movie I’ve ever seen (there are some really well done scenes), but it isn’t close to the best either.  However, I am interested to see the director’s cut.

Who watches the Watchmen? Judging from the opening weekend numbers, pretty much everyone.  But that doesn’t mean it’s good.

(5.2/10)